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missmybabies started this conversation
Current mood:  blessed
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to . . . . . . . .


If you are holding on to past hurts and pains . . . . . . . . .


If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth . . . . . . . .


If someone has angered you . . . . . . . .


If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge . . . . . . . .


If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction . . . . . . . .


If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents . . . . . . . . .


If you have a bad attitude . . . . . . . .


If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better . . . . . . . .


If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him . . . . . . . .


If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship . . . . . . . .


If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves . . . . . . . .


If you're feeling depressed and stressed . . . . . . . .


If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to . . . . . . . .


Let the past be the past Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2007!!!


Get Right or Get Left. think about it, and then . . . . . . . .


"The Battle is the Lord's!"
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Very inspiring thanks for the wise words. At times we r even willing to setttle for less coz we dont want to let go.
Talk to pelican
thank you /I've been trying to correct past mistakes /trying to guide my 19 and 29 year old to a better path as a mother and grand mother I have been in a struggle for a long long time.
In this force of negative heart breaking relationship, changing my way of thinking is so hard to not feel like a failure, or guilty.
so around 3weeks its been I had to bring in legal services
to handle my daughter, things had been out of control with drugs and my hands have been tied to where I had no more choices, but to call and let them take over .
so today as I speak to my grand boys and feel like the bad one for there hurt and dark circles around there deep beautiful brown eyes. I no this was a positive choice in the long run but it will be a very long time , this is the calm before the storm as they say.
Yesterday was a very hard day my eyes could not stop
have been.
feeling lost hopeless,I was with feelings like this when I walked in to a beautiful big t empty cathedral in central park.
yesterday I remembered I saw TD JAKES, with a sermon
that made me look for him today with LET IT GO, AND THIS AWSOME.
Iam learning to LET IT GO and let GOD .

Talk to deepbluesea
im in full agreement as this is what ive been saying for the pass years. Some people come into your life for a season, some for a reason, some for a lifetime, but when that season and reason is over just let them go they have fulfill their purpose in your life. Just let them go. Holding them back could be your damnation

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The Christmas Cat   in reply to sasha nonoo
Yes I know this situation and it is good you broke it off with him. Not only are you hurting yourself but you are hurting someone you don't even know his wife or family. Believe me this is a situation of what goes around comes around. This situation will slap you in the face eventually down the line one way or another maybe thru your own children or a family member or friend you love. It's really hard putting yourself in the other sides place when your overwhelmed with emotions. I'm going to tell you with personal closeness to the situation. That even if you end up with this man no matter what he tells you he will hurt you in the end and I can say I am 100 percent positive on this. We all think we are special and it's going to be different this time.but it never is..They all say their wife is not who they love or want but unless your relationship is totally out in the open with everyone watching. They are not being truthful. You have given up a relationship with a single man to be with a married one in hiding like a criminal. What has he given up for you that is the question you must ask yourself....
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woman in a shoe   in reply to sasha nonoo
Hi to try and forget about him fine something u like to do that u two didn't do together. If u like to read get a book and read it are u like to sew make something for the house. Are anything else u like to do. Maybe fine u a new boyfriend. Hope some of these can help u good luck
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sasha nonoo
i am inlove with a man who is not mine ok his married, i broke up with him two months ago and i can not stop thinking about him, please help me to forget abt him and let him go
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I just spoke to my ex husband after 20 years. He totally changed his life around. I now am going through a bad marriage for the 2nd time. So I sure needed this. Thank u paster Richard Cortez for the recommendation
Talk to Kriscourtstph
Thank u,I needed to read that I was going through something and this really made since.It helped me lift my spirits
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Mommy of 3 in TN   in reply to SisterServant
Okay I replied :)
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SisterServant   in reply to Mommy of 3 in TN
I'm sending you a one to one.
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SisterServant   in reply to Mommy of 3 in TN
:) <3 :)<3 :)<3
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Mommy of 3 in TN   in reply to SisterServant
Your welcome. Thank you for your kind words. You are such a blessing to this site. Your words and advice mean so much. Please never stop :) <3
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SisterServant   in reply to Mommy of 3 in TN
Thank you so much. You are so very welcome. Sometimes we just have to stop and remember that no matter how hard the devil tries, God loves us and He is in charge. If we look at what happened to Jesus when he went up on the mountain, we know that the devil tried to get Jesus at his weak points but it didn't work.

Thank you for being here and the help you offer to others. God will take of all of us if we keep trusting.
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Mommy of 3 in TN   in reply to SisterServant
Sister, I want to take the time to say Thank You for this post. Even though it wasn't directed to me I really needed to read this. You are so right the devil does hurt us in our weakest spot. Again thank you for this post. <3
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SisterServant   in reply to sad and confused
Dear sad and confused,
You say "restoration isn't coming quick enough."

It will not come quickly. It is not supposed to come quickly.

You must embrace the fact that your feeling hurt is a normal response and that in time you will heal from this wound.

You must begin to tell yourself that God has a higher purpose for this than what you currently understand.

The emotional pain that you are going through is a normal response given the intensity of your relationship and the fact that your daughters also fell in love with this man. God answers our prayers in His own mysterious ways. You may have interpreted this man to be the answer to your prayer because of his demeanor.

(Remember that the devil also hears our prayers and he is full of deceit. He always finds the weakest spot to hurt us.) Obviously, this man is not the husband that you asked for. In fact, God may not want you to have a husband UNTIL you have grown in a different way; developed more understanding .

Everything we go through is for a reason. There is a lesson to be learned.

You ask "how can he be in church several times a week and yet treat you this way." Church attendance is no guarantee of righteousness. Many churches are full of hypocrites. Genuine, true relationship with God is what matters and may have nothing to do with going to church.

There are many very good people who have wonderful relationships with the Lord who do not attend church on a regular basis. God looks at the heart, not how often one sits in church. This man sounds as though he may be locked into a false sense of who he is (a successful musician, adored by a woman. etc.) But you cannot change him. God will have to do that in his time and his way.

The most important thing you can do now is to understand that while you are going through a grieving process because of your loss, you must find ways to love yourself more. God loves you and wants you to feel better each day. In this instance, God is teaching you something new about "family," as painful as it is. God may also be teaching you something about what to expect from others.

One thing you can do is to ask God what is it that He wants you to learn? If you become very quiet, He will tell you. Write down what you hear in the quiet after you ask him.

Because you are crying a lot it may be harder to hear God, but you will. Give yourself a time limit for crying, for example. Tell God, "I am going to cry for 15 minutes this time and then I need to hear something from you about this whole thing. " This will work. And you can do it over and over for as many days as you need. Gradually, you will begin to feel better.

God is also teaching you something about being a victim. God is getting you ready to be a stronger person, but you must learn to love yourself first.

Do you have any close friends (other than this man?)

Are you still seeing him or talking to him?

Do your children know about the situation?

You don't have to give me these answers if you don't care to, but they are important questions for you to consider.

If you continue to experience a serious lack of sleep, you will need to do something about that, like maybe seeing a doctor. Sleep deprivation over long periods of time is not good. Sleep deprivation will only increase your stress.

First though, you need to take some extra measures to see if you can help yourself sleep. Can you try taking a nice long soaking bath just before you go to bed? Eliminate noise and television an hour before so that your environment begins to settle down.

Talk to SisterServant
sad and confused   in reply to SisterServant
I really appreciate every word.... you are so right this feels like someone has died...I cry constantly....I'm getting no sleep.... I pray and ask God to heal my emotions and to restore my's just that restoration isn't coming quick enough.... I'm hurting soo bad!! Mainly because I waited on someone for years... having 2 small girls at the time I made it my business not to bring anyone around my daughter's... So I didn't date. I asked God to send me a husband...then I met this man. He was truly like no one I've ever known before.... He loved God... Not only did he go to church several times a week but he's was a very talented musician... we began dating not only did I fall in love with him but my daughters did as well...we all loved each other...or so I thought.... how can I be in so much pain and yet he feels no remorse... how can he be in church several times a week and yet do me like this? I don't understand :-( why does it seem like I'm the one with so much lack and he's the one being blessed in his mess....I know God says trails and tribulations come to make u stronger... and that He won't put more on me than I can bear... but right now its feels unbearable... all I want is a family...don't have to be rich or famous or anything like that... I only want a family... a husband who loves not only me but who loves and adores and honors God.... that's what I thought I had :-( :-(
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SisterServant   in reply to sad and confused
Don't ask yourself why he hurt you. He can't tell you why because the main person who matters to him is him. And if he could sit down and tell you why, it wouldn't change him. Give yourself some deadlines. How many days (weeks? months?) do you need to ask why? Then, ask what can you do to focus on yourself.

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SisterServant   in reply to sad and confused
Time will help you and God will help you. It is okay to grieve. It is normal. This kind of situation feels just like a death.

In time you will come to understand what a blessing it is from God not to be with such a self-centered, deceitful person.

It is important right now for you to find some small ways to make yourself feel good. You need to pamper yourself.

If finances are a problem, there are inexpensive ways to make yourself feel better as you begin to process your loss. For example, buy a new lipstick. Buy yourself a nice scented candle. Soak in the bathtub and listen at some music with the candle lit. Go to a fun movie with a friend.

You may cry when you think about this man, but you will begin to focus on who you are and not him. Talk to God about it everyday and ask him to help you heal from this. Now you are sad, but as time passes you may feel angry because this man lied to you. But you must realize that the personality defect belongs to him. It has nothing to do with who you are. You must begin to look in the mirror and see your own beauty. God has better plans for you.

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sad and confused   in reply to SisterServant
sister servant thank you so much for your Response...God bless you :-)everything you're saying is so very true. I just cant get my heart to follow what my mind already knows. right now its all fresh and you think of this person constantly. You think of what you were doing this time last week. All the promises that he made ....all the things that he's done ....and to know that everything you thought you were going to do together for the rest of your lives now it'll never happen.... my whole thought process was if this is how you were and how you've always been and you know what type of person I am why hurt me??? why do it. Especially when he said he could or would never hurt me. Its just hard getting My heart to process everything that my mind already knows :-(
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SisterServant   in reply to sad and confused
Dear sad and confused,

Your guy is very self-centered. The main person he loves is himself. That is why he can be so "hurtful." His "goodness" is superficial.

Just be thankful that you are not already married to him.

It is normal for your mind to be all mushy right now, but you need some counseling to get over him and more on with your life. You deserve to be treated better than this. Pray and ask God to give you comfort and lead you in the right direction. He does not want you to spend the rest of your days crying over a man who does not really deserve your tears. You are better than this.

Talk to SisterServant